Authority Always Wins

Authority is another prickly issue. As a young kid you want to do anything that an authority figure tells you to do, but as you move into adolescence you want to do more of what you want to do. You used to have no idea what the rules were and so you wanted to learn them no matter what it took. On the other hand, you now want to find them out on your own.

Bad news for you, kid: This is normal. As an adolescent you are expected to find your own way, and to feel angsty about it. You are expected to be angry, feel depressed, and to basically shift from fun to annoying in the space of a heartbeat. If you didn’t people would begin to worry about you.

You have a changing role to worry about. You are changing from one of the followers of the tribe to one of the leaders, and as such you are beginning to question the authority that already exists. Strangely enough, this is something that you should embrace as well. You have an expectation to buck the system whenever possible. You should revel in rebellion; you can’t find your place if you don’t explore all perspectives, and sometimes that means you need to ask questions in ways that may not always be polite. So feel free to rebel. Revel in it even. The teenage years are your ticket to rebel and get away with it.

To a degree. There is a time to rebel and a time to toe the line. One of your problems as a teenager is to determine when you should rebel and when you should listen. You still need to respect authority; your rebellion should be something you carry on for your personal exploration, but you are doing it at a time when you also need to laying the groundwork for your future. The better you can balance the need to follow authority with the need to rebel the more people will respect you.

And respect is one of those weird things at this age. Your peers want someone that can lead them while at the same time that is going to be part of them, and you can’t always lead while following their rules. The adults want someone that is going to follow their rules while taking charge, and sometimes you need to ignore the rules in order to get ahead. How you deal with those problems will gain or lose you respect, and no one can tell you exactly how to do it.

So…you need to find a path that works for you. You just need to figure out what it is, and that’s what makes life fun.