Learning to Manage Your Anger

One of the biggest changes deals with both the changing body and changing mind: Anger. Teenage boys tend to lose their anger a lot easier than any other group. They have that nasty combination of testosterone and passion; this means that their emotions lay close to the surface. The biggest problem that they’re going to have is controlling that temper. There are a number of ways to deal with the temper, if you can catch it in time.

The easiest way is physical exertion. As the culprit is usually testosterone, which also is one of those responsible for your physical changes, this makes sense. The important part is that the task has to be physical exerting; lifting heavier than normal weights, pounding posts into the ground, baling hay. Even a good run can work, as long as you are sweating heavily by the end of it. You should find that a healthy sweat will result in endorphins that will take the edge off your temper. Keep in mind that this also applies, ironically, to wrestling, boxing, or other martial art; as long as you don’t lose your temper during the fight you should be okay.

Meditative practices can also work. In this case, you have one of two options, but they begin the same way: Breathe deeply, close your eyes, and clear your mind. The first option is to visualize a place that you are happy in, that is serene; a beach, the forest, even the desert, as long as you are happy there. The visualization should calm you. The second is to visualize a place where you are slicing and dicing; the violence may take the edge off. If you need to walk in the woods or play a video game then do so; it’s just a physical extension of the mental exercise, but try to master the mental version first.

Before you begin dealing with it, however, you need to extricate yourself from the situation first. The problem is that you need to get out of the situation as quickly as possible once you feel your temper rising. You should not consider this retreating; no matter how good a fighter you may be, eventually the odds will catch up with you. It’s like a bad dare: There are no advantages to fighting if it is just to fight; it may be fun, but a real fight is dangerous and should be avoided at all costs, especially if weapons are involved or have a high probability of being involved.

This is not to say that having a temper is a bad thing. When you are mad, and really mad, you body trades off some off your thinking ability for greater strength and endurance, increased pain tolerance, and your reflexes are faster because your inhibitions are lowered as well. However, the key is that you trade some of your thinking skills for increased physical ability; you need to learn to use your anger, not be used by it. This is why star athletes are so good; they’ve mastered the ability. Although they are also able to access the increased physical skills, they are also able to keep most of their intelligence, making them formidable opponents. So it does have its advantages, but you need to learn how to master it in order to glean those advantages.