One of the things that can suck about joining a group is to decide just how far you are willing to go to join it. When you join a group there are a number of limitations placed on your behavior, and those limitations form the basis of whether or not you should be a long-term member of that group. You need to decide what your limits are and when you have had enough, but there are some things to debate.
The initiation is going to be a big part of it. Hazing is illegal, but the reality is that every organization has some form of initiation. Those new to the organization are placed on a probationary period where they have few rights in the group and have to do all of the drudge work; they may be ridiculed when they try to say something and usually do all of the work no one else wants to do. Sometimes they may come up with stuff just to see if you'll do it. I hate saying this is okay, but everyone has to deal with it.
You need to seriously debate joining if the cost becomes too much. Sometimes this can be literally, especially if you need a lot of money during the probationary period to pay for group activities. If there is a lot of pain and humiliation, you may want to seriously debate quitting. You may be like doing it, but it may be a necessity, especially if you bones are getting broken or there is a lot of bleeding. If you are being coerced into any kind of sexual activity, run. If you can report any of this behavior to an adult, do so.
Obviously if you quit the organization there will be ramifications. You need to debate if those ramifications are worth quitting the group, as well as if the punishment you are putting up with is worth joining the organization. In theory at least the punishment should lighten up and disappear once you have gotten past the probationary period, so there is that at least. It's perfectly understandable that you want to join a group, everyone does, even the loners. Just make sure that your desire to join up with someone, anyone, doesn't become so desperate that you join any group and put up with too much abuse doing so. You do not want to be a victim, and taking advantage of your need to be part of a group is usually the reason boys become a victim.
The initiation is going to be a big part of it. Hazing is illegal, but the reality is that every organization has some form of initiation. Those new to the organization are placed on a probationary period where they have few rights in the group and have to do all of the drudge work; they may be ridiculed when they try to say something and usually do all of the work no one else wants to do. Sometimes they may come up with stuff just to see if you'll do it. I hate saying this is okay, but everyone has to deal with it.
You need to seriously debate joining if the cost becomes too much. Sometimes this can be literally, especially if you need a lot of money during the probationary period to pay for group activities. If there is a lot of pain and humiliation, you may want to seriously debate quitting. You may be like doing it, but it may be a necessity, especially if you bones are getting broken or there is a lot of bleeding. If you are being coerced into any kind of sexual activity, run. If you can report any of this behavior to an adult, do so.
Obviously if you quit the organization there will be ramifications. You need to debate if those ramifications are worth quitting the group, as well as if the punishment you are putting up with is worth joining the organization. In theory at least the punishment should lighten up and disappear once you have gotten past the probationary period, so there is that at least. It's perfectly understandable that you want to join a group, everyone does, even the loners. Just make sure that your desire to join up with someone, anyone, doesn't become so desperate that you join any group and put up with too much abuse doing so. You do not want to be a victim, and taking advantage of your need to be part of a group is usually the reason boys become a victim.
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