It's an almost universal truth that dealing with bullies sucks. However, while everyone has advice on how to deal with them, it may be worth considering what the warning signs of being a bully are. For the purposes of this conversation, there are two kinds of bullies: the one that is raised that way, and the one that becomes that way. The former eventually requires some form of therapy in order to eliminate some of his traits, while the second just needs to realize that there is a problem. The testosterone boost due to puberty combined with size gain is the biggest reason some kids become bullies, others because they like the rush of loosing their tempers. Either way, if any of the following signs apply, you may be a bully.
1) You live to destroy. Don't get me wrong here: sometimes it can be fun to utterly destroy something, and destroying competition can be satisfying. However, we're talking about when the act of destruction, of the violence itself, is the goal and not just winning. You want to wade in and cause as much damage as possible and if you happen to win so be it.
2) Rage is your defining trait. This is not just the standard temper problems every kid has. This is when you enjoy losing your temper, when you enjoy the sense of power that it gives you, and the laser-tight focus your rage gives you. You love being able to have a target to focus on, one that allows you to go after it like a missile and take it down.
3) You like power. It's not that you like the responsibility of being a leader; you can always let others deal with the details and if not you can always beat them. No, you like having people fear you and knowing that taking you on is a mistake. You like that people are worried about what you can do to them, and in that regard are willing to do what it takes to avoid a pounding from you.
4) You use threats of violence as a first resort. You don't like negotiating, and the easiest way to do that is to use your trump card right out of the gate. People have a simple choice: Do what you say or get smashed. Sometimes you even try to be subtle about it, but everyone knows that denying you is just not done.
5) You have no disrespect for anyone you perceive as weak. This can be younger kids, girls, women in general, the elderly; it doesn't matter. If someone is weak, it's not that they don't deserve your respect, it's simply that you don't care if they respect or not as long as you get what you want. On the other hand, you may have a little bit of hero worship for those you consider strong, and are willing to do anything they tell you to do.
These are some signs to watch out for. If they apply to you you may have some issues worth working on. Although you have some qualities that are worth working on, especially the strong will and leadership skills, you also need some counselling immediately. Get that and you may be able to enjoy the years coming up a lot more.
1) You live to destroy. Don't get me wrong here: sometimes it can be fun to utterly destroy something, and destroying competition can be satisfying. However, we're talking about when the act of destruction, of the violence itself, is the goal and not just winning. You want to wade in and cause as much damage as possible and if you happen to win so be it.
2) Rage is your defining trait. This is not just the standard temper problems every kid has. This is when you enjoy losing your temper, when you enjoy the sense of power that it gives you, and the laser-tight focus your rage gives you. You love being able to have a target to focus on, one that allows you to go after it like a missile and take it down.
3) You like power. It's not that you like the responsibility of being a leader; you can always let others deal with the details and if not you can always beat them. No, you like having people fear you and knowing that taking you on is a mistake. You like that people are worried about what you can do to them, and in that regard are willing to do what it takes to avoid a pounding from you.
4) You use threats of violence as a first resort. You don't like negotiating, and the easiest way to do that is to use your trump card right out of the gate. People have a simple choice: Do what you say or get smashed. Sometimes you even try to be subtle about it, but everyone knows that denying you is just not done.
5) You have no disrespect for anyone you perceive as weak. This can be younger kids, girls, women in general, the elderly; it doesn't matter. If someone is weak, it's not that they don't deserve your respect, it's simply that you don't care if they respect or not as long as you get what you want. On the other hand, you may have a little bit of hero worship for those you consider strong, and are willing to do anything they tell you to do.
These are some signs to watch out for. If they apply to you you may have some issues worth working on. Although you have some qualities that are worth working on, especially the strong will and leadership skills, you also need some counselling immediately. Get that and you may be able to enjoy the years coming up a lot more.
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