One of the problems with joining a number of groups is that you may drift apart. It may be regrettable, but it happens. There are ways to prevent this, but you shouldn't be depressed if it happens. Growing apart is an unfortunate part of growing up, but this doesn't mean that you shouldn't remain friends. Nonetheless, there are some considerations.
There are a number of reasons that kids grow apart as they get older. Some of these are due to necessity, as kids move from one area to another. Sometimes it has to do with parents moving, or because the parents see an advantage to moving the kid from one school to another; for others it is because something has regrettably happened to the parents. However, some of these reasons have more to do with changing interests as well as other changes wrought by puberty, including such evils as interest in the opposite sex.
The most common reason however is simply that the two fall into different groups and that the groups push them apart. This is definitely an area where peer pressure can be a problem, even as it makes some sense: A group does its best to survive, and that means hanging on to its members. Unfortunately, this also means that the group will tend to shove away those that aren't part of the group; even friendly groups will tend to push away those that don't belong to the group, even if it's just by existing. In order to maintain their original friendships, a lot of teenagers belong to close-knit groups of childhood friends.
Maintaining a friendship can be hard, but is usually worth it. It means that both parties need to put some effort into it. The biggest problem that they will have is the jealousy of the other groups, as those groups will seek to absorb the two into the respective groups. If the two friends prioritize the groups and seek each other out during other times and use social media to keep in contact, the friendship should survive. The biggest problem will be if the groups are exclusionary and force separation of the two friends; at that point a decision needs to be made as to which is more important, the old friend or the new group, and that decision is never as easy as it sounds.
It is also needs to be realized that some friendships will just run their course. It's sad and regrettable, but nonetheless it happens. It's best that friendships be allowed to dissipate if possible, or at worst that both parties recognize that it's happening. The worst thing that can happen is if the friendship goes down in flames, as both sides have some sort of monstrous fight and part ways on bad terms. If that can be avoided so much the better, especially as it means that you will have a contact for life. It needs to be noted that not all friendships will dissolve into puberty; a lot of them do survive the test of time, and that today's technology actually helps that. It just needs to be realized that not all friendships will last, but there is no reason for good friends to become bad enemies, especially if the two of them do like each other.
There are a number of reasons that kids grow apart as they get older. Some of these are due to necessity, as kids move from one area to another. Sometimes it has to do with parents moving, or because the parents see an advantage to moving the kid from one school to another; for others it is because something has regrettably happened to the parents. However, some of these reasons have more to do with changing interests as well as other changes wrought by puberty, including such evils as interest in the opposite sex.
The most common reason however is simply that the two fall into different groups and that the groups push them apart. This is definitely an area where peer pressure can be a problem, even as it makes some sense: A group does its best to survive, and that means hanging on to its members. Unfortunately, this also means that the group will tend to shove away those that aren't part of the group; even friendly groups will tend to push away those that don't belong to the group, even if it's just by existing. In order to maintain their original friendships, a lot of teenagers belong to close-knit groups of childhood friends.
Maintaining a friendship can be hard, but is usually worth it. It means that both parties need to put some effort into it. The biggest problem that they will have is the jealousy of the other groups, as those groups will seek to absorb the two into the respective groups. If the two friends prioritize the groups and seek each other out during other times and use social media to keep in contact, the friendship should survive. The biggest problem will be if the groups are exclusionary and force separation of the two friends; at that point a decision needs to be made as to which is more important, the old friend or the new group, and that decision is never as easy as it sounds.
It is also needs to be realized that some friendships will just run their course. It's sad and regrettable, but nonetheless it happens. It's best that friendships be allowed to dissipate if possible, or at worst that both parties recognize that it's happening. The worst thing that can happen is if the friendship goes down in flames, as both sides have some sort of monstrous fight and part ways on bad terms. If that can be avoided so much the better, especially as it means that you will have a contact for life. It needs to be noted that not all friendships will dissolve into puberty; a lot of them do survive the test of time, and that today's technology actually helps that. It just needs to be realized that not all friendships will last, but there is no reason for good friends to become bad enemies, especially if the two of them do like each other.
No comments:
Post a Comment