Dealing With Peer Pressure

As your social status changes, so will your self-confidence. Your old status is virtually non-existent, that is, you are no longer a kid that has limited responsibility beyond school and your choices are starting to have actual effects. You are also unsure of your relationships; most of them should change, and that should be fine. And we won’t talk about girls.

The upshot of all this is that the way you deal with people is changing. Because of that you are likely to feel the need to prove yourself, to do anything you can to show that you really are part of the group. This means that you are likely to do anything older kids tell you to do, you won’t rat out other kids, and that you are likely to take on any dares. Understandable, as you showing you belong, that you are the same old kid you used to be, and those are always the best way to do it.

You are going to do it, so there’s no use in me telling you not to. But we both know I’m going to try anyway. Before you accept a dare, look at the potential for damage, both to you and someone else. You also need to debate property damage, as it may come back on you; the more damage the more likely that’s going to happen. You need to debate if the potential damage is worth. This does not mean to look at the worst case, but the most likely; prepare as well as you can if the potential damage is worth it, and go for it. Just remember to prepare as much as you can, and you should be okay. Well, reasonably okay.

You also need to debate when older kids tell you to do something embarrassing or painful. If it involves anything sexual, really debate doing it; this is definitely an area where you will feel forced, so try to avoid doing it at all costs. In general, if it is going to affect your health, you need to debate it. This is going to be an area where you need to think about consequences, even allowing for the need to fit in; you may think that you have no control, which is mostly true, but you do have some. If you have a cell phone, always make sure it is easy to get to so you can use it. Always make sure you have a way out, and avoid getting trapped. This is hardly a perfect plan, but at least it is one.

You need to get over not ratting out other kids. It is likely that something bad will happen to you, and you need to tell someone. It’s understandable that you will do everything to fit in, but sometimes that means someone is going to get hurt. If that’s the case you need to limit the hurt as much as possible, and that means telling someone. If you get hurt, people need to know how to fix it, and that means telling what happened. That also applies when someone else is hurt; you need to tell someone so that person can get the help they need. If someone tells you not to tell, that should be the best clue that you had better tell someone.

You need to debate your decisions. Now is the best time to start…