Saturday, September 13, 2014

Locker Room Nightmares

The locker room seems to be the stuff of many pubescent nightmares. When you were six running around naked part of why you did it was to see what kind of equipment other people had; since it is usually covered up with clothing you were naturally curious what they were hiding. When your body started changing odds are you grew fearful because, with nothing to compare it with, you were worried what kind of disease you may have. You wanted to hide it and then you were forced to strip in front of other people.

[For those without locker rooms: Boys find ways to compare. Before locker rooms there was the swimming hole and sauna In some places public baths have been the norm forever. Some boys have had to make do with having sleepovers. Feel free to substitute as needed.]

Locker rooms cause a lot of nervousness because of human nature. For boys that are changing ahead of the curve, there is the fear that they may be freaks; they are developing things that none of their friends. As long we're not talking pubic hair before 9 years old or so, they should be fine. Although there are some conditions that will mimic the onset of puberty or actually cause it at an earlier age they are usually rare; a trip to the doctor's will either confirm or allay suspicions. For most kids, however, don't sweat it; you're just ahead of the curve and your friends will be catching up soon enough.

For those that are behind it, there is the fear that they will be left behind and have to stay back with the little kids forever and may have to be separated from their friends; both of us these are very understandable fears, but you need to relax. Some kids just develop slower than others, and some conditions, such as being overweight, can slow things down. Puberty should start no later than 15 or so; if you still haven't started smelling and getting hairier, you need to discuss things with a doctor. Until then, however, don't stress; you are still within normal limits.

For everyone else, there are still some issues worth discussing. Size is an obvious issue; having size contests and actually measuring it is par for the course. Penis size is assumed to have something to do with sexual prowess; it doesn't, so get over it. It's not the size that makes you a better lover, but confidence and practice (I'm not encouraging sexual activity at this age beyond kissing; master that first). Again, if you have any fears talk to a doctor, just be aware that there are variety of sizes and shapes so there is a healthy range.

Part of that worry is the cut/uncut problem: Not all boys are circumcised. Regardless of whether it is the local cultural norm this is an issue because boys are worried about all aspects of their appearance, but especially their penis; this makes some sense as it's something they can't control and it is sort of the reason they are undergoing the changes (puberty sets the stage for sexual maturation after all). If the boy is from the section that isn't the cultural norm it makes him even more nervous. All you can do is accept that it is part of you, that it does need to be part of someone else, and let it go.

Boys are also worried that they are being looked at and being judged, and that some boys want to force sex onto them. This is not an unfounded fear; after all, you are doing the same to other boys, and there is a lot of teasing about that at this age. All I can say is go with it, do it yourself, and if it hits the stage of bullying deal with it as you would regular bullying. As for the other, understand that at this stage sexual identity is a very confusing situation and as long as you avoid having sex at this age you should be okay. If you don't avoid it, just make sure that you take proper precautions; a condom prevents more than pregnancy, so make sure that one is in use regardless of who you have sex with

[Eventually I will get around to all of the sexual issues, but it may take a while.]

But yeah; other boys are looking at you as a sex object just as you are them, as it's just part of being a pubescent boy with hormones raging. At this stage you have no control who you are attracted to, and you are going to look at those you have some familiarity with and respect; you're likely to be be attracted to boys you worship, as those that worship you may have dreams of you. Yeah, it's creepy, but you just have to accept it for right now.

So...the locker room is the site of many pubescent fears. All I can say is that while they are legitimate, you just need to get in there, scrub up, and get out as quickly as possible. You need to face your fears, get over your issues, and realize that it's more likely that someone else is dealing with the same issues. We all had to go through it, will go through it, or are currently dealing with it; just deal with it.

No comments:

Post a Comment