One of the cool things about puberty is that you get to define who you are. You are actually expected to mess around with different identities at this stage as you find out who you are. Although some will try to mold you into what they think you should be, usually do to limited roles in the local culture, you still have some control over who you will be. Now is the time to start figuring out who you want to be.
Be careful that you are the one deciding who you will be and not those around you. Most of your decisions will no doubt be made so that you will fit in. That's fine. This is when you need the support of your friends and so it makes sense that you will seek to show them that you are part of the group. Even the rebels are actually doing their best to fit in; weird concept, but that is the role they have accepted and it is how people accept them. You are likely to do things in order to be accepted, and that can be a trap.
The problem is that you are likely to do things not so much for the experience but because you want to be accepted. While it's a perfectly understandable impulse, and trust me, we've all been there done that have the T-shirt, it's one you need to resist. You need to debate, however quickly, whether or not doing it is worth the feeling of acceptance. There is a balancing act you need to perfect, where you do need to debate if it is absolutely necessary to do the action in order to fit in, or if there is too much risk either to your future, your ethics, or your health, and you need to decide where those limits lay.
Expect to see a lot of adults shake their head at you. You have entered an age when you can be held responsible for what you do, but you are still likely to get away with a lot, or be punished a lot more lightly than an adult would be. Yes, a lot of it is how much you entertain us, don't get me wrong, but a lot of it is because adults expect you to make a lot of mistakes based on peer pressure and you need room to make those mistakes. At this stage most of your bad decisions will be because of peer pressure, and while we would prefer you didn't, we know that they will happen.
Just remember that while you are deciding what you will be, the decisions are yours. Please try to make the right ones, and ask for help or advice as you need it. After all, your future is yours and only you can walk it. You don't want decisions made for you by someone who doesn't have to deal with the ramifications. You're the only one who can make your decisions; keep that in mind at all times.
Be careful that you are the one deciding who you will be and not those around you. Most of your decisions will no doubt be made so that you will fit in. That's fine. This is when you need the support of your friends and so it makes sense that you will seek to show them that you are part of the group. Even the rebels are actually doing their best to fit in; weird concept, but that is the role they have accepted and it is how people accept them. You are likely to do things in order to be accepted, and that can be a trap.
The problem is that you are likely to do things not so much for the experience but because you want to be accepted. While it's a perfectly understandable impulse, and trust me, we've all been there done that have the T-shirt, it's one you need to resist. You need to debate, however quickly, whether or not doing it is worth the feeling of acceptance. There is a balancing act you need to perfect, where you do need to debate if it is absolutely necessary to do the action in order to fit in, or if there is too much risk either to your future, your ethics, or your health, and you need to decide where those limits lay.
Expect to see a lot of adults shake their head at you. You have entered an age when you can be held responsible for what you do, but you are still likely to get away with a lot, or be punished a lot more lightly than an adult would be. Yes, a lot of it is how much you entertain us, don't get me wrong, but a lot of it is because adults expect you to make a lot of mistakes based on peer pressure and you need room to make those mistakes. At this stage most of your bad decisions will be because of peer pressure, and while we would prefer you didn't, we know that they will happen.
Just remember that while you are deciding what you will be, the decisions are yours. Please try to make the right ones, and ask for help or advice as you need it. After all, your future is yours and only you can walk it. You don't want decisions made for you by someone who doesn't have to deal with the ramifications. You're the only one who can make your decisions; keep that in mind at all times.
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