This is the age where you seem to be pushing yourself a lot, and usually against those you know the best. This isn't just a matter of getting better; teenagers are heavy into competition. It may be the cause of a lot of anger as well as frustration, but it's also a way of dealing with same. Competition is the way of the teenager, especially when it helps to deal with a lot of the stress of being a kid. This competition takes on a lot of different forms, but the bottom line is that it usually pits family against family, and not always in a good way, especially in extremely competitive families. All you can do is deal with it.
This increased competition makes a lot of sense. You want to prove yourself and gain some respect, and the easiest way to do so is to win, preferably to win big. This is why your competitions tend to have an edge on them, especially when they involved your dad and older siblings, or someone you have in that role, such as close cousins, uncles, or even mentor figures. You want to show them that you can hold your own and the best way to do that, especially from your perspective, is to kick the butt of someone you respect. It can be fun, especially if you learn something from the challenge, but it can also be a problem.
Unlike your competitions against kids your own age, family competitions are unlikely to be fair, and those with the best skill are likely to win. This should not be adjusted and should actually be encouraged; it's going to feel a bit cheap if the competition is anything less than what you were expecting, and odds are good you'll actually have preferred to win when the odds are normally against you. You want the win to be as big as possible, and one that you actually have a good chance of losing, or that you even normally lose at, sometimes feels better when you win. Obviously cheating should not be allowed, but anything short of that should be. This can definitely be an exercise in pain and embarrassment, but that's actually part of what makes it so fun.
Most of the competition will be between those of the same gender, such as dads and boys, as well as age groups, such as older cousins against younger cousins. The most serious competitions will be between dads and sons, as the sons have the most to prove and the dads want the son to prove it. There is likely to be yelling, but this is usually just getting loud and excited; if it's angry yelling then someone needs to chill. A good competition is always worth it, and the more intense it is the better. Competition should be encouraged, and you should have a chance to lose and lose bad, since it means you can win and win great, and that makes it all worth it.
This increased competition makes a lot of sense. You want to prove yourself and gain some respect, and the easiest way to do so is to win, preferably to win big. This is why your competitions tend to have an edge on them, especially when they involved your dad and older siblings, or someone you have in that role, such as close cousins, uncles, or even mentor figures. You want to show them that you can hold your own and the best way to do that, especially from your perspective, is to kick the butt of someone you respect. It can be fun, especially if you learn something from the challenge, but it can also be a problem.
Unlike your competitions against kids your own age, family competitions are unlikely to be fair, and those with the best skill are likely to win. This should not be adjusted and should actually be encouraged; it's going to feel a bit cheap if the competition is anything less than what you were expecting, and odds are good you'll actually have preferred to win when the odds are normally against you. You want the win to be as big as possible, and one that you actually have a good chance of losing, or that you even normally lose at, sometimes feels better when you win. Obviously cheating should not be allowed, but anything short of that should be. This can definitely be an exercise in pain and embarrassment, but that's actually part of what makes it so fun.
Most of the competition will be between those of the same gender, such as dads and boys, as well as age groups, such as older cousins against younger cousins. The most serious competitions will be between dads and sons, as the sons have the most to prove and the dads want the son to prove it. There is likely to be yelling, but this is usually just getting loud and excited; if it's angry yelling then someone needs to chill. A good competition is always worth it, and the more intense it is the better. Competition should be encouraged, and you should have a chance to lose and lose bad, since it means you can win and win great, and that makes it all worth it.
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