GIRLS!

This is probably the biggest change you will be experiencing over the next few years. Girls used to be one of those inconveniences you had to worry about, and now they are a distraction. There are some good reasons for this from a biological perspective, but that’s not going to help much here. Your body is getting ready for girls, but the mental processes are taking a while to catch up.

In other words, you are going to be experiencing some confusing times. Your body is going to go one way, and your mind another. You’re going to want to deal with girls, but you’re also going to be intimidated by them, even if you say otherwise. Just don’t treat them like boys, and you should be okay. Treat them like you would anyone else, and you should do okay. You’re going to strike out a lot if you’re looking for something more than just friendship, but realize that’s fine; you should just need to find out where the line between “person who asks too much” and “person who asks just the right number of time”. Find that line, and you’ll do great.

My personal theory is that boys treat girls too much like boys, and it messes everything up. Abusing girls is something all boys do up until puberty or so; until that point it’s a sign of affection. I know it sounds weird, but you want the girl to know you like her, but you also want to fit in with the other guys who hate girls, so you abuse the girl you like. When you hit puberty, you hope she has forgotten, but you back off her just a little back in case she holds that abuse against you. Let me clue you in on something: As long as you stop doing and treat her with respect, those past annoyances will be treated as love taps, and she will look on them in a good light.

And some other tips: Make sure that you bathe regularly and give it at least passing notice to your looks. Girls like clean, well-groomed boys. Learn how to dance and attend school dances regularly; better yet, get on the dance floor as soon as you can, and don’t be afraid to ask the girls to dance. You may not always get the nod, but at least you’re trying, and that puts you leagues ahead of the rest; eventually you will get all the nods you’ll ever want.

So just remember to play nice, ignore past indiscretions, and always ask for permission; that should at least get you started.

The Changing Comfort Zone

Something that you are no doubt going to notice is that your comfort zone is changing. There are some things that you are more comfortable doing, some things that you are less comfortable doing. Unwanted physical contact is an obvious example; even a few years ago you had no problem with someone tickling you, but now it’s a major problem. On the other hand, you have less problem with being punched, as long as the punch isn’t too powerful. You have problems with intimate contact (hugging, kissing, and tickling) and less problem when it’s more bonding and proving how tough you are (punches and wrestling); this is normal.

Part of the problem is because you see things differently. Intimate connections make you feel weird; this is because you are sorting out your feelings towards things, and intimate feelings make you feel uneasy, almost physically ill in some cases. This is because your body is getting ready for different kinds of relationships, and your mind is backing your body up on that. I hate saying that we will cover that later, but we will; just trust me for now. But for now, realize that you are less interested in hugs and kisses and more interested in handshakes, and that that’s fine.

On the other hand, you are trying to establish yourself as being able to take on more responsibility; taking pain is the best way can show that you are able to deal with things without cracking. Look at it this way: You see adults sucking things up, doing and dealing with things that they would prefer not to. You want to show that you can do that as well. Taking a punch is the easiest way of showing that you can suck things up without it seriously messing with you. This means that fighting and wrestling, as well as sports in general, are going to be more interesting for you, especially those with a teamwork aspect.

There are other ways you are going to notice your comfort zone is, well, mutating. Girls are one obvious area. You are going to go from ignoring them to wanting to be around them. You are also going to notice that you want to spend less time with your friends; that’s fine, that’s normal, too. You are going to want some time alone, to think about things or just to be alone; this is not abnormal or make you a freak.

In short, just be advised that the way you think about things is changing. This is not weird, this is normal; don’t freak out. Well, not yet….